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  • Writer's pictureKaren Andrews

MOTHER’S CURSE: I hope you have kids one day, and when you do, I hope they are just like you!

Updated: Jul 27, 2020

Remember the “MOTHER’S CURSE”? You know, the one your mother blesses you with when you are about 13 years old? It goes something like this…”I hope you have kids one day, and when you do, I hope they are just like you!” Or, in my case, my mother hoped I had twins that were just like me. Luckily, I have one child, a 9 year old son. God knew I couldn’t handle more than that. But I think he was given a double whammy of “me” though.

Mom always said that God takes care of the fools and idiots. Lucky for me, I fall into both categories. My biggest problem was submitting to authority. I just couldn’t do it unless I could understand and see WHY their way was the best way. (Go ahead, as my parents and my sister, “Why” has gotten me into more trouble!). If I didn’t agree with the "why", in my mind they were wrong, and it was up to me to convince them of their error. Better yet, I would simply prove it.

My son, God bless him. He is his mother’s child.

My son and I were at odds the other day. Fiercely. You parents know what I’m talking about. We’ve all been there. Your child does something, says something, and you are in complete shock that could be coming from your own flesh and blood. For a split second, you wish he was a grown stranger so you could really tell him off. But it’s not that way. You love this little person with all your heart. And for that moment, he got the best of you. And if you are like me, you’re embarrassed to admit it.

My son and I had a moment like that yesterday. Got the best of me. Lots of unnecessary anger, raised voices, increased blood pressure, and competition for the last word. The little guy pushed my buttons. Yelling never solved anything. Anger is fatal if allowed to fester, so I had to handle this. Right this wrong. First I had to get “right” myself. You have to be objective when analyzing what just happened. As you know, this takes some time. Sometimes minutes, sometimes days, maybe even years. But to fix the situation, you have to do it. The hard part is admitting you goofed. Once you do that, it’s all downhill. Well, I did my best to figure and admit my faults, and how I could correct the situation. I tried to be objective.

Up until now, my son and I had been a team. Me and him. Me and him against the world. Things are changing. He’s changing. He’s growing up. I analyzed the team my son and I made up. First of all I had to admit I’m not the one in charge, that’s God’s job. He is the Coach. I’m only the team captain. I forget that quite often. Sometimes you have to call a time-out and confer with the Coach. I called a “time-out” to get a new game plan.

When it was time for “THE TALK” later, I shot from the hip. I was honest and genuinely talked to my 9 year old son. We sat down and talked about our team and our game plan. I asked him if he knew how I got to be the “Mamma”. He said no. I explained God decided I was ready to teach someone right from wrong, good from bad, and because God trusted me…he needed to do so also. So when I scold or discipline him that what I’m doing, I’m teaching him right from wrong. God does the same with me, too.

I went a step further, and asked him if he had ever been 9 years old before. He said no. Likewise, I said I had never been a mother to a 9 year old before, and and I told him sometimes I make mistakes.

Like I said earlier, God helps the fools and idiots, and that’s me on both counts. Luckily I’m smart enough to know I am a fool. Parenting is not for the weak of heart. It’s a tough job. There is no instruction manual, and you don’t always know the right thing to do. Everyone just kind of wings it I guess.

As a single mother, I claim the bible verse that goes, “I can do all things…” I just usually forge the last part of that verse, “…through Christ who strengthens me”. As Team Captain of my team, I get so caught up in the game, I forget to call a “time-out” to confer with the Coach. Luckily for me, the Coach is gentle, full of compassion and forgiveness. I know that if I don’t’ call the time-out, He will.

I’m not going to “curse” my son with children that are just like him. It wouldn't be much of a curse. My son has the purest heart, full of love, hope, and blind faith. But somehow, that “mother’s curse” seems to work. I think it’s God’s way of bringing us full circle. It is our second chance to correct the poor decisions we made in your youth. Like the fool I am, I’m grateful God gives me that chance.

My son turns 25 in a couple weeks. I have been a single mom since I was 2 months pregnant, and never married. My job was to prepare a child for adulthood. So, lookout world, Here HE COMES!

Me, my son, his girlfriend and some of her family

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